she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
