Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do herpes really smell.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
