you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
