So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
