She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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