so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
