so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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