my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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