obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
