some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Houston, we have a blender
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
