You smell like stripper and shame
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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