I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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