Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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