see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
