we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
