The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
