shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
