Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
