some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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