I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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