My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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