I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
