now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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