Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
how drunk are you?
Several
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
