New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
