The brown eye won't let me do that either.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
