god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
