Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
