am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
