I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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