How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
