you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
