im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
