what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
