my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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