i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
