we made out on top of his cat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize