Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
