our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
