Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
