too bad you live with your parents still
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
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I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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