New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
