you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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