sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
