I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
