girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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