The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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