it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
