Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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