brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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