Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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