Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
