Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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