You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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