Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
