Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize