Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's always time for handjobs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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