i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
