I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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