There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
