apparently the secret to your success is patron
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize