How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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