Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
