I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
