dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
where does the pee come out of this thing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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